Pathos: I want the audience to feel assured that my stance is derived from something once-respected and well-known. Conventional ideas often guarantee comfortableness. What also should give reason for the audience to confide in me is that I have good judgment of what old principals to take and believe in. My last line, "I will jump-start you to make the change", and my finger pointing at the camera should invoke awe in the viewer and inspire him or her to make change. By voting for me, he or she will be taking the next step in doing so.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Running for "Community Organizer"
Pathos: I want the audience to feel assured that my stance is derived from something once-respected and well-known. Conventional ideas often guarantee comfortableness. What also should give reason for the audience to confide in me is that I have good judgment of what old principals to take and believe in. My last line, "I will jump-start you to make the change", and my finger pointing at the camera should invoke awe in the viewer and inspire him or her to make change. By voting for me, he or she will be taking the next step in doing so.
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Jeff:
ReplyDeleteAs I suspected, you have a keen sense of political rhetoric—that is, you know how to craft your words to make them convincing. When you say, “Though our weakness…, our strength…,” you’ve used a sophisticated technique to focus the listeners’ thinking. That’s powerful. Great start with this.
Now…first, you need to add a story. That’s a must. But you also need to talk more about the issues you might organize around. Show us that you understand our specific problems and that you believe that, by organizing, you can help us solve them.
Ethos: You certainly show me that you’re “serious.” I’m not sure I yet see “knowledgeable.” To accomplish this, you need to tell me more about what you know about the BHS community’s problems.
Pathos: I’m not sure that I can put my finger on the pathos that you’re aiming for based on your description. It sounds complicated! Try to explain this in a simpler way so that a) I can follow you (!), and b) so that you can focus a bit more on delivering it.
This will be a great speech when you’re done.